After maternity leave, the personal decision to go back to work or have your partner go back to work can be challenging. We must recognize and normalize that such life changes can bring up feelings of resentment, and guilt. We must talk about these emotional experiences, include our partner in the conversation, and work to cope with our challenges, fears, and adjustments.
Why is returning after maternity leave so difficult?
- We feel vulnerable in the readjustment period
- We may feel postpartum depression or anxiety
- We may feel challenged leaving our children in someone else's care
- We may feel anger, guilt, or resentment toward ourselves or our partner
How can we work with our partners?
- Couples need to work together to adapt to their new realities and lean on one other in the transitional period of changing roles
- Couples need to break gender norms and focus on how to support one another primary needs throughout the transitional period
- Prepare for a dynamic change when one or more partners go back to work and understand that it may feel like a bubble has burst
- Have conversations with your partner, be open and honest, and be proactive
How to support yourself?
- Talk to someone if you can not manage or navigate your anxieties! Your mental health and well-being are top priorities, and trained professionals can help support you.
- Allow yourself to feel what you feel and prepare for the fact that feelings may come up
- Make a plan for pumping if this is something you are partaking in
- Secure childcare and avoid scheduling your first day of work with the first day of daycare so that you can feel settled and not everything is happening simultaneously!
Ultimately, know that your feelings are valid. Understand your values and make a plan for yourself. Give yourself a break and keep your expectations to a reality. You can do this!
